Finding the End

Today I find myself in the typical throws of torn emotion that is felt only on the final day of school. It is a feeling that few understand. Most jobs do not consist of trying to forge the most personal bond possible only to 10 months later send them on their way. Each of my students is unique, special, and quite frankly exhausting.

It has been a killer year, if you asked anyone in my building who had the most difficult class the answer would be unanimous. I decided a long time ago that if you are going to have a tough group, you want it to be the worst. Sympathy can be an amazing thing, no one ever cancelled my prep period and everyone was always willing to help me out. I am not sure if my colleagues will ever understand how much assistance they have been to me this year, how I couldn't make it without them.

Regardless of the challenges I have faced this year I find myself torn at their loss. Despite the fact that I have spent nearly this entire year fighting a migraine I will miss these children. I am sure that I will, eventually.

I have equated this class to being gasoline, water, and alcohol. Each needed and wonderful in their own way, but spending so much time in a closed container as been an exercise in the prevention of combustion. Most days were spent in the pursuit of maintaining some form of sanity.

For today I will try to make it through the day, try to get all those loose ends wrapped together. Try and repair the frayed edges.

I will watch them leave wondering if I made any difference at all. Will they remember anything other then the fact that they were always in trouble? Is it possible that despite my constant attempt to maintain control they knew that I cared for them? Time will tell, and honestly I will probably never know.

But for today I have just a few words for them.

Get out
Be Gone
Goodbye
Hasta Luego
Aloha
Scoot
Skedaddle
Mosey Along
Shoo
Run Along
Go Go Go....



I will miss you.....